Just a Song

Just a Song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4JVW_uidFI

The Feels...

The Feels...

       I'm really starting to get irritated with my heart and brain. I still have major feelings for my last crush but, now there is another... Now I'm not like obsessed with her or anything. It's just sometimes I look over at her and I'm like "Oh, she's really cute" and that's it. She's cool and cute and comedic. The 3 C's. Anyways it's kind of irritating and, I just can't put a finger on it yet... Also in May I have a doctors appt. and that's when I'm going to ask if I can go on Testosterone. I still haven't came out transgender to my family yet which should be happening soon... but, I'm afraid.

Been Awhile...

It's been awhile since I actually posted something on here. To be honest... I really just needed a break from everything. Also I was kind of just lost for words. My crush... she said no... (sarcastic voice) Shocker! Yeah... I'm slightly put down by that but.. I don't know. My brain has always been a blob. Plus I'm just really having a lot of stress from school and upcoming due dates for a lot of projects or projects to be which is causing me a lot of confusion!!

Check Out the Song Below:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fzqv_5YvO4w

Bad Day...?

Bad Day...?

      So I asked out my crush today by giving her this paper I wrote... I never should have asked her out or told her or did anything!! I will always be alone! I don't even know why I should've listened to my friends! I gave my crush 2 weeks to think about it because we have a 2 week long winter break starting now... I'm so hopeless... and I'm so lost... I'm so embarrassed and just ashamed as well... The look on her face when I gave it to her was just like... "what the fuck is this?" Another life trip up it seems...

  

Why!?!?

Why!?!?

 Yesterday I was like literally crying in class during my 3rd Period. I was just so unbelievably upset! I keep thinking of my crush and all the pros and all the cons... and just myself and her. Like why am I so obsessed with her?! I don't want to be but, I am! Then later last night I just lied there in my bed and cried plus had a few dark thoughts. Like one part of me just wants to jump in and be cocky and won't take no for an answer and then the there side of me wants to wait and be considerate. I'm literally crying trying to write this. I'm not a bad person... I'm not the best person... and I'm damn sure not the best of looking but, I'm am damn sure good of taking care of the one's that I care about. If me and my crush did go out I would take a bullet for her...

Just a Song

Just a Song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZoD8JEFjAE

How I knew...

How I knew...

No, it didn't just hit me overnight and no it was not a choice. Every since I was a toddler I knew I was different. Until about the 5th grade is when I was able to put a name to it and, that was I was Bi-Sexual. Then around 6th grade I realized I was Transgender a Transman ( Female to Male). After I discovered that out I started to experiment so, it was official the beginning of this school year that I realized I'm a Pansexual, Transman. Do I ever wish I was straight? No, because to be honest now I love who I am and I'm not ashamed but, I do hate people who stereotype and judge me harshly before actually getting to know me.