Bad Day...?

Bad Day...?

      So I asked out my crush today by giving her this paper I wrote... I never should have asked her out or told her or did anything!! I will always be alone! I don't even know why I should've listened to my friends! I gave my crush 2 weeks to think about it because we have a 2 week long winter break starting now... I'm so hopeless... and I'm so lost... I'm so embarrassed and just ashamed as well... The look on her face when I gave it to her was just like... "what the fuck is this?" Another life trip up it seems...

  

Why!?!?

Why!?!?

 Yesterday I was like literally crying in class during my 3rd Period. I was just so unbelievably upset! I keep thinking of my crush and all the pros and all the cons... and just myself and her. Like why am I so obsessed with her?! I don't want to be but, I am! Then later last night I just lied there in my bed and cried plus had a few dark thoughts. Like one part of me just wants to jump in and be cocky and won't take no for an answer and then the there side of me wants to wait and be considerate. I'm literally crying trying to write this. I'm not a bad person... I'm not the best person... and I'm damn sure not the best of looking but, I'm am damn sure good of taking care of the one's that I care about. If me and my crush did go out I would take a bullet for her...

Just a Song

Just a Song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZoD8JEFjAE

How I knew...

How I knew...

No, it didn't just hit me overnight and no it was not a choice. Every since I was a toddler I knew I was different. Until about the 5th grade is when I was able to put a name to it and, that was I was Bi-Sexual. Then around 6th grade I realized I was Transgender a Transman ( Female to Male). After I discovered that out I started to experiment so, it was official the beginning of this school year that I realized I'm a Pansexual, Transman. Do I ever wish I was straight? No, because to be honest now I love who I am and I'm not ashamed but, I do hate people who stereotype and judge me harshly before actually getting to know me.

Confused

Confused

Hmm... what to write about today? Well... I don't really want to talk much about people on these blogs because I don't want to start drama or seem two-faced or, hurt anybody but, this kind of wouldn't hurt anybody...

So... there is this girl who I see almost every morning... she's so pretty, funny, and kind of this awkwardness to her which makes her extremely cute!! I wish she could be mine... I just... I do and I don't fear rejection... If I asked her out I wouldn't mind if she said "no"... but, it would be the reasons behind the answer "no". Also what if I am friend-zoned again. It's not like me and her are close now but, what if she doesn't want to be friends with me at all after this? What the fuck am I talking about? She will never want to be with a person like me and even if she did her friend(s) won't let her... and my friends probably wouldn't even care.

All I want...

All I Want...

• are friends more like me (Don't get me wrong I love my friends now)
• are Pets (Dogs)
• is to go on testosterone
• is to look like a man to  is to feel like a man and treated like one
• is someone to respect me just as much as I respect them
• is someone to notice me...
• is someone to text me all day including mornings, afternoons, nights about anything and everything
• to do is travel the world
• is to leave Waldorf, Maryland

All I want is to experience life to the fullest and leave my past behind...

My Love Life?

My Love Life?

I never intend to cause people pain.... it's just how things tend to come out with me sometimes.... none of my friendships last that long... I'm really lonely.. sometimes I don't even know what to do with myself. I'm faithful and easy to get along with I'm just that ugly motherfucker that people don't want to be caught with as a boyfriend/girlfriend sometimes not even as a friend but, this is about love relationship... If I ever did go out with someone I would try my best to make it work and be faithful til the end.

About Me...?

The Life of a Boring, Confused Teenager.

Umm.... Hmm... Where to start? Well... I'm a Transman. Also if you can't tell by the tittle I'm also a Teenager. My name is... well just call me Brian. Do that and I'll be your buddy through thick and thin. People call me cold... sometimes disgusting. I'm hated around here. At least they show their hate respectfully. I'm not the best person on earth but, I at least try to be the best person I can be. 


Check Out the Link Below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DTLcR5awn0